Urban Myths Headlines
How John McCain Could Become The Most Expensive Mistake The Country Ever Made E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 41
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Monday, 06 October 2008 14:54

 

As the Keating 5 Savings and Loan scandal proved, John McCain is not a maverick, he is a political hack who eagerly took $112,000 in contributions from Charles Keating, then turned around to protect his good friend and fraudster from being investigated by federal regulators.  The result: the largest bank fraud scandal in American history costing taxpayers billions of dollars.  Somehow, even though Keating went to prison, McCain survived.  John McCain is Kaiser Sose. Watch this video about John McCain and tthe Keating Five and ask yourself: how did this guy survive this scandal to become a candidate for Presdient?  And, what will he do the next time?

Last Updated ( Monday, 06 October 2008 15:04 )
 
Presidential Paintball E-mail
Written by Giovanni   
Sunday, 05 October 2008 11:19

 

Forget about Sarah Palins phoney Bill Ayers rumor and scare mongering.  If Gov. Palin loved half America as much as she claims she would pack up her moose rifle, fly her little helicopter back to Alaska and drop out of the race. Meanwhile, in this little game you can Zap John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney, John Edwards and help Barack Obama get into the Oval Office, a place where no Palin has (or will, if the electorate's IQ stays out of remission) has ever gone...

Last Updated ( Sunday, 05 October 2008 11:52 )
 
How a Text Messaging Scamster Can Steal All Your Money E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 37
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Sunday, 28 September 2008 17:36

Subject: Fwd: Clever Ploy and scary too 
Damnit! Now Murphy's Law applies to cell phones. If you can be screwed, you will be. Look out!
From: Catherine J Britton

Clever Ploy
This lady has changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile
phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell
phone, credit card, wallet... etc...was stolen. 20 minutes later when she
called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby
says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I replied a
little while ago.'

When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money
was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to
text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20
minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.

Moral of the lesson: Do not disclose the relationship between you and the
people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby,
Sweetheart, Dad , Mom, etc..... And very importantly, when sensitive info
is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back!!

Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere,
be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you
don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and
friends' who text you.
Along with that if you have an entry called 'Home' with your actual home   
phone number it's not too hard to do a reverse lookup on the number to & nbsp;   
find the address.  now the robber has your home number, keys, AND address.



PLEASE PASS THIS ON!  I never thought about THAT!
 
Sarah Palin's Original Acceptance Speech E-mail
Written by Giovanni   
Saturday, 27 September 2008 16:03

Here's Baby Palin giving her original RNC acceptance speech.  How Adorable!

 
Sarah Palins Great Tightrope Adventure Game E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 24
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Saturday, 20 September 2008 06:49


Help your future Vice President Sarah Palin to balance her work -life issues by walking the proverbial tightrope.  It's not the bridge to nowhere, its the tightrope to somewhere, and that somewhere is straight down.
Last Updated ( Saturday, 20 September 2008 07:07 )
 
The Barack Obama Sex Education for Kindergarten Myth E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 8
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Monday, 15 September 2008 14:24

yes we can babyHelp Stop John McCain's Vicious Lies

The rumor-turned-attack-TV-ad that says Barack Obama supported a bill to teach sex education to kindergartners has been repeated so many times we don't blame you if you think it is true.  Not only is this an urban myth, this big fat lie as almost big as the State of Alaska and just ad as cold.  The bill that Obama supported in fact was to teach age-appropriate sex ed, and specifically was to instruct 5 year olds on how to avoid sexual predators and pedophiles!

The bill allowed any parent not comfortable with their kids knowing how to avoid predators to opt out.  What kind of parent would want their kids to be ignorant is another question.  John McCain knows this--but it didnt stop him from putting up a TV ad to scare parent out of voting Obama.  Well it didnt work, and even Karl Rove is saying McCain has gone too far. 

But it really doesn't matter to maverick John Wayne McCain that this isn't true, because he's still running it on his YouTube page:

 

 

Last Updated ( Monday, 15 September 2008 14:43 )
 
The Sarah Palin Book Banning Email E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 14
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Wednesday, 10 September 2008 13:46

 

 

The daily Meme: Below is the email with a list of books that Mayor Sarah Palin allegedly tried to ban. The list itself is an urban myth, we do not know which books Sarah may have wanted to get rid of. However we were very disappointed to see that James Frey's fake "memoir" A Million Little Pieces was not on the list, perhaps because it was published several years later.
 
Urban Myth Rule #1: never let the facts get in the way of a good hoax e-mail.
 
The facts: Sarah Palin did not ban any books but she did ask the librarian three times about censoring library books when she was mayor of Wasilla. The librarian refused to consider censoring any books. Luckily the third time was not a charm

Palin pressured Wasilla librarian--Anchorage Daily News:

In December 1996, Emmons told her hometown newspaper, the Frontiersman,

that Palin three times asked her - starting before she was sworn in --about possibly

removing objectionable books from the library if the need arose.

 

Emmons told the Frontiersman she flatly refused to consider any kind of censorship.

 

In December 1996, Emmons told her hometown newspaper, the Frontiersman, that Palin three times asked her -- starting before she was sworn in -- about possibly removing objectionable books from the library if the need arose.

Emmons told the Frontiersman she flatly refused to consider any kind of censorship. Emmons, now Mary Ellen Baker, is on vacation from her current job in Fairbanks and did not return e-mail or telephone messages left for her Wednesday.

 

Heres the e-mail making the rounds:

 

This was sent to me and, as a reader, it is a subject that I feel passionately about.

Some of the best books in American literature on are on this list. Anyone who could

think it is a good idea to ban A Wrinkle in Time, To Kill a Mockingbird, Huckleberry

Finn and A Separate Peace, among so many others, makes it very clear that she does

NOT have good judgment and doesn't belong anywhere near the White House.

Therefore, counter to my usual policy, I am forwarding this to virtually everyone I know.

 

Sincerely,

 

Zoey (O'Toole) Hampton

 

****************************************

 

Friends, this is making the rounds. Interesting. KTL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I know that Sarah Palin is not the one who is running for president but

take a good hard look at what she tried to do while she was Mayor of Wasilla.

 

Are we living in the 21st Century?

 

If you haven't already seen it, here is a list of books that Sarah Palin tried to

have banned from the Wasilla Public Library, according to the official minutes

of the Library Board. When she was unsuccessful at having these books banned,

she tried to have the librarian fired.

 

As many of you will notice, it is a hit parade for book burners.

Pass this on as best you can. I find it unbelievable!

 

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

Blubber by Judy Blume

Last Updated ( Monday, 15 September 2008 14:22 )
 
21 Little Known Facts about Sarah Palin E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 7
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Tuesday, 09 September 2008 18:12

Superhero Sarah Palin 

We knew that Sarah Palin is really, truly amazing, but we bet you didn't know these 21 Little Known Facts about our soon-to-be VP:   
1. Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin.  
2. Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels.
3. Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks.  
4. Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!  
5. Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List.
6. Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin' 'bout.
7.When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad.  
8. To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin.  
9. Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?” 
10. Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience. 
11. Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!    
12. In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful. 
13. Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout. 
14. Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.
15. Sarah Palin was kicked off Survivor for killing a man and eating his entrails.
16. Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals. 
17. Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
18. Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers. 
19. Sarah Palin is actually Kaiser Sose. 
20. There is a special place in Hell reserved for all of Sarah Palin's enemies.
21. Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

 

Last Updated ( Tuesday, 09 September 2008 19:27 )
 
Top Sarah Palin Urban Myths, Lies and Rumors E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 12
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Monday, 01 September 2008 14:44

Sarah Palin in Vogue MagazineSarah Palin, maverick John 'Wayne" McCain's surprise pick for VP, has a great life story. She's a moose hunting hockey mom maverick politician who has gone from mayor to Governor to VP candidate. She opposed the bridge to nowhere, she's a reformer, a tax cutter who is against earmarks and pork barrel spending..or is she? Turns out that most of this story is a great big urban myth.

1. Myth: Sarah Palin opposed the $200 million bridge to nowhere. Actually, Governor Palin supported it until she opposed it. According to The Atlantic:

"Palin supported the project and even told residents of Ketchikan that they weren't "nowhere" to her."

"OK, you've got Valley trash standing here in the middle of nowhere," Palin said, according to an account in the Ketchikan Daily News. "I think we're going to make a good team as we progress that bridge project." --Governor Sarah Palin

But that was before the $200 million bridge to nowhere story got national coverage. Now she claims that shes the one that stopped the bridge to nowhere--after she had already supported it! So where did the all the money go? Its being used on other projects that the State does not need. Some of the funds are being used to build a road to an empty beach in the very same place the bridge was to be located:

According to the Anchorage Daily News:

The Alaska governor campaigned in 2006 on a build-the-bridge platform, telling Ketchikan residents she felt their pain when politicians called them "nowhere." They're still feeling pain today in Ketchikan, over Palin's subsequent decision to use the bridge funds for other projects -- and over the timing of her announcement, which they say came in a pre-dawn press release that seemed aimed at national news deadlines.

"I think that's when the campaign for national office began," said Ketchikan Mayor Bob Weinstein on Saturday.

Meanwhile, Weinstein noted, the state is continuing to build a road on Gravina Island to an empty beach where the bridge would have gone -- because federal money for the access road, unlike the bridge money, would have otherwise been returned to the federal government.

Oh well, and it sounded so good at the time.

2. Myth: Sarah Palin is a tax cutter. Well, not quite Actually, as Mayor, Palin cut property taxes but raised sales taxes, which are more of a burden on the poor and elderly with fixed incomes. Se also supported windfall profts tax o noil companies, a policy Barack Obama supports and her potential future boss John McCain opposes.

3. Myth: Sarah Palin is a maverick politician just like John McCain. The truth: Sarah Palin is a skilled politician who stepped into the void left by all the corruption in Alaska state politics, and her politics are from the extreme right wing of the Republican Party. Extreme, yes, maverick, no.

4. Myth: Sarah Palin has more experience than Barack Obama to be President of the United States. The truth: Barack Obama has more political experience at both the local and national levels than Sarah Palin. He has eight years as a state senator from Chicago and two as a US senator, she has six years in a local political capacity on the city council and Mayor of Wasilla, population 8,000. Plus he was selected by the voters over Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden and several other more experienced politicians, who obviously believe that Barack Obama is ready to be President. We will no know until election day if the voters feel the same way about Sarah Palin.

5. Myth: Sarah Palin had nothing to do with efforts to get her ex brother in law fired as a state trooper. The truth: there is mounting evidence that she was involved in the dozens of phone calls from herself and her own staff members to the Public Safety commissioner to get her sister ex-husband fired. After refusing to fire the trooper, the commissioner himself was fired--by Governor Palin. There is now an ongoing state investigation that should be wrapped up by late October, just in time for the election.

6. Myth: Sarah Palin opposes earmarks for pork barrel spending. The truth: Sarah Palin took trips as the mayor of Wasilla to beg for earmarks, and won $27 million in federal funding by employing lobbyists. This is what all politicians do, so if anyone says "Vote for me and I'll turn down money government for our home town" don't believe them.

Palin's Small Alaska Town Secured Big Federal Funds--Washington Post: 

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin employed a lobbying firm to secure almost $27 million in federal earmarks for a town of 6,700 residents while she was its mayor, according to an analysis by an independent government watchdog. 

In fiscal year 2002, Wasilla took in $6.1 million in earmarks -- about $1,000 in federal funds for every resident. By contrast, Boise, Idaho -- which has more than 190,000 residents -- received $6.9 million in earmarks in fiscal year 2008.

"She certainly wasn't shy about putting the old-boy network to use to bring home millions of dollars," said Steve Ellis, vice president of Taxpayers for Common Sense. "She's a little more savvy to the ways of Washington than she's let on."

7. Myth: Sarah Palin is ready to be Vice President of the USA. The truth: she told a television interviewer this summer that she did not fully understand what it is that a vice president does. Maybe she should ask Dick Cheney?

8. Truth: John McCain had met Governor Sarah Palin only once before putting her on his list of VP candidates. John McCain met her once in DC at the annual Governor's conference. They say that first impressions matter. That must have been quite a first impression! Enough to get her on the short list with Sen. Joe Lieberman and Govs. Pawlenty, Jindal and Crist, and then enough to get her the #2 spot after just one more meeting with McCain. With friends like John Wayne McCain, who needs affirmative action?

9. Myth: Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for the pregnancy of her underage daughter. This is untrue. Since her selection as the VP running mate, rumors have been flying in cyberspace that Palin faked being the mother of her new son in order to cover up the underage pregnancy of her unmarried 17 year old daughter Bristol. Governor Sarah Palin did in fact recently give birth to a baby, and her 17 year old daughter is also now pregnant. From the Clackmas Review:

According to these rumors, Sarah Palin had faked a pregnancy and pretended to have given birth in April to her fifth child, a son named Trig who has Down syndrome. The rumor was that Trig was actually Bristol Palin's child and that Sarah Palin was the grandmother.

Liberal blog the Daily Kos has been blamed for spreading this rumor, but Kos himself denies this is true. And if this all sounds a bit like a bad episode of Hee Haw on steroids, we won't disagree with you.

10Myth: Governor Palin fired the chef at the Governor's mansion to save the taxpayers money.  This is untrue.  The chef was merely transferred to another state job since Gov. Palin decided to live mostly in Wasilla instead of Juneau. Wasilla, which is over 500 miles away from the state capitol.  Thats right, she lived in Wasilla with her family, not in Juneau where the mansion and chef is actually located!  This makes the following quote from the McCain Palin Colorado Springs rally sound even more ridiculous: 

Sarah Palin said :  "I fired the chef.  My children aren't starving."

The chef wasn't fired because the children weren't starving, or to save the state money, he was transferred because in Alaska, unless you are an Ice Road Trucker, a 500 mile commute is considered to be a bit too grueling. 

 

 

Last Updated ( Monday, 08 September 2008 21:19 )
 
Urban Myth: There is No Sarah Palin Sex Tape E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 22
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Monday, 08 September 2008 14:12

Sarah Palin Sex Tape RumorSorry fellas (and felines) but there is no Sarah Palin sex tape. Rumors are swirling that a video is out there and will surface any day.  While there may not be a Sarah Palin sex tape (that has surfaced, at least not yet) that doesn't mean our future VP can't be a little bit sexy. Especially at cocktail hour. In a leather skirt.  Kind of makes you want to move to Alaska and hug a moose,now  doesn't it?  In fact, Sarah Palin may be the sexiest politician to occupy the White House since JFK and Dan Quayle combined.  Some think she may be the hottest power female in designer eyewear since Ashley Banfield.  We have to agree.

 

Last Updated ( Monday, 08 September 2008 15:10 )
 
The REAL Sarah Palin Barbie Doll E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 6
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Sunday, 07 September 2008 21:11

Urban myth fan David Johnson shares what he calls the REAL Sarah Palin Barbie Doll. It comes complete with all the things you need to be Vice President, including a Moose rifle, camo skirt and Hockey stick.  On sale now on Ebay, this unique work of art makes a great Christmas gift, especially for you moose-huntin' gun-totin' God-fearin' born-again tax-cuttin' maverick hockey moms! You can email  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it  if you would like to be notified when a new piece of our American History is for sale. 

Sarah Palin Baribe Doll on Ebay 

Sarah Palin Baribe Doll on Ebay 

PS: The matching John Wayne McCain doll is also available, but we can't seem to remember which house we left him in...

Last Updated ( Sunday, 07 September 2008 22:34 )
 
Levi Johnston Fake Myspace Pages E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 4
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Sunday, 07 September 2008 00:33

Why is it that every time a scandal breaks out, a dozen fake MySpace pages pop up, while the real one everyone wants to see disappears? After Sarah Palins daughter's pregnancy was revealed, her soon to be son-in-law Levi Johnston's MySpace page was put into the witness protection program. And just as quickly, all the fake pages popped up. .Got to give these people some respect, the pages look so real...

Fake Levi Johnston Myspace page 1: The I'd rather meet Wayne Gretsky page:

levi johnston fake mysapce page

About me:
One day you all will see me up there with Wayne Gretsky, my name in lights cause I rule on the ice. Nah, lol...but I love the sport, hockey is my life. Its gonna take me somewhere, dont know how far, but it rules.

Who I'd like to meet:
Wayne Gretsky, of course. John McCain comes in a close second.

 

levi johnston fake myspace page
Who I'd like to meet:

Believe it or not , I would like to meet Barrack Obama & Bill Clinton ... Yes I am Levi Johnston the father of Bristol Palin's baby ( so what ) .My girl is my life, for real. Bristol is what I live for, and now as everyone knows, I will be a father soon. Yea, I am young, but I still know what love and commitment mean, and love evry minute of my life. All this people talking crap are not my heroes, thats all I have to say. On one hand he tells everyone to stay out of candidates childrens lives, then he sends his goons to write whatever they can on the internet while no one is looking? And he wants to be president....? Don't fuck with my family .. !!! Thank you so much for your support.. It's been really hard & stressfull the last few days .. We even had to change our phone number & I can't even go home or attend school till all of this cools down ..

Last Updated ( Monday, 15 September 2008 14:23 )
 
The Levi Johnston Baby Daddy Myspace Quote E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 4
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Sunday, 07 September 2008 00:28

Quote of the Day

Levi Johnston, Baby DaddyLevi Johnston, the guy who got Sarah Palin' daughter pregnant and now has to marry her in order to save the election for John McCain, had his MySpace page taken down due to what might be called a few very embarrassing quotes. These statements put to lie the urban myth that Americas #1 teen pregnancy was anything but an accident, and was an all too predictable result of the failure of abstinence education in general. The upcoming nuptials (before election day) likely to be the first high tech shotgun wedding in history, and when he does you can be sure it will be broadcast live on CNN. But the words hat are said before a scandal breaks out usually don't lie, even when they are posted on MySpace:

"I'm a f**kin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some sh*t and just f**kin' chillin' I guess. Ya f*ck with me I'll kick ass."Status: "In a relationship."
Children: "I don't want kids."

Note to Levi: You probably should have remembered that before you got the Governor's daughter pregnant. But thanks for being such a stand up guy and putting Country First.

Last Updated ( Sunday, 07 September 2008 00:33 )
 
The New Sarah Palin Barbie Doll E-mail
Urban Myth Meter: / 55
Completely TrueUrban Myth 
Written by Giovanni   
Wednesday, 03 September 2008 11:32

 

 

Check out the new line of VP candidate Sarah Palin Barbies. Another e-mail that claims if you forward it to 11 of your friends you will see a cool video of Sarah Palin Barbie on your computer. Silly. But we're sure someone in Silicon Valley (or Alley) is working on the technology as we speak... Anyway, this one is pretty funny if you're a guy. We like the Sarah Palin National Security Crisis Barbie best. Any opinion Ladies?

DO THIS, ITS HILARIOUS"

READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END-THERE'S A TRICK TO IT.


Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Sarah Palin Barbie dolls just in time for the election! These are sure to be a hit with soccer moms and tax cutting conservatives alike!

1. The Sarah Palin National Security Crisis Barbie. For those moments when Vladimir Putin invades another tiny little country you've never even heard of. Press Sarah Palin National Security Crisis Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

2. The Sarah Palin VP Nominee Barbie. Watch as VP Nominee Barbie tries to make the case that she has foreign policy experience since Alaska is right next door to Russia, not to mention all those pesky Canadians to the east. Comes with a complete set of talking points and one line rejoinders to fend off all those annoying media questions.

3. The Sarah Palin Moose Huntin' Barbie. See Moose Huntin' Barbie hunt and kill innocent animals in the wild, not for their meat but for the sport of it. plus their antlers. Comes with all the necessary hunting gear, knives and shotguns needed to take down a six pointer, plus just enough rope to strap your prize to the hood of your Moose Huntin' Barbie SUV.

Last Updated ( Friday, 05 September 2008 17:49 )
 
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31 December 1969
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Horoscopes

Urban Myth-o-Scope 

 

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk

 

PISCES (February 19-March 20) You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

 

ARIES (March 21-April 20) You are the pioneer type and think most people are nincom-poops. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are an asshole.

 

TAURUS (April 21-May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn Nazi.

 

GEMINI (May21-June 20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorius for thriving on incest.

 

CANCER (June 21-July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding of other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

 

LEO (July 23-August 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are thieving cretins and spend most of their time kissing mirrors.

 

VIRGO (August 23-September 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

 

LIBRA (September 23-October 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably homosexual. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are prostitutes. All Libras die of venereal disease.

 

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21) The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

 

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are not worth the time of day.

 

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

 

 

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